How to win at Twister

I believe that if you follow these simple steps you are sure to win at twister. 1) When a colour and limb is called out, make sure that you end up spread out as much as possible, ideally you want to have your legs at near opposite ends of the mat 2) When you move, be sure to push over all the other players, you'd probably not be surprised how bad the balance of some people can be 3) Be sure to play with people smaller than yourself, that way they can't push back very well Yes, I won all 3 games of twister I played at the youth group today, I won the first just by putting my foot onto the mat at which point they screamed that my leg had hair on it. I wasn't aware it was such a bad thing to have hair on your leg, they reacted like it was Bubonic something-or-other! I suppose I should give tips for the Animal Game 1) Be as loud as possible 2) It's impossible to actually win so make sure you at least leave everybody else with hearing problems And because I know that you will need this information at some point, I'll explain how to win a water fight! 1) Find out what your opponent is using, now make sure you have something that works in a different way, if they have a gun, get a bucket, if they have a bucket, get a gun (or hose) 2) Work out what the plus and negative point of each is, if you have a bucket and them a gun, they can out range you but you can deliver a lot more water in 1 second 3) Move in such a way that you can deliver more water to them than to you, if you have a bucket, move forwards, if you have a gun, sidestep or run in random directions 4) Before the fight, get a bucket-like implement of water holding (the large open top is the key part) and "deposit" water over someone you want to make sure you beat 5) Repeat 4 after the fight if possible, preferably with the "group refill" pot as then they cannot get you back I hope these tips help and I hope that my next blog entry will be just as helpful to you.

What a lovely day

The day was bright, the sun shining, there was tell of impending rain but the sky was clear and the day lovely. A gentle breeze carried the Moth towards it's next landing point, it rested gently, folding it's wings onto itself. Suddenly, there was a tremor! The thrumming noise grew louder and louder! Slowly, a great shadow began to fall over the Moth, the breeze had vanished, replaced by a roaring wind pushing in all directions, the sun was blotted out by this massive monstrosity! The Moth leapt into the air to fly away, it began to flap but alas, the pull of the giant engine of darkness was too fast for it! WHOOOMP! Today I cut the lawn out the front of my house and out the back, I killed about 6 months (or maybe they were all the same moth that reincarnated?) and a Bumblebee (it tried to fly away but I was too fast for it). See, when you think like me, even mowing the lawn can be fun!

Typical Student

Felt you might find this story funny and/xor amusing, warning, it is a little messy so if you're eating, you best not read it just yet. It was a Sunday morning, this morning as I write to be precise. Church for me in Wales is a good 4 and a half miles away, that's about an hours walk and getting a lift means I have to get one back and basically, it's a lot of hassle compared to a 20 minute cycle ride. Yeah, a lot of hassle. Anyhoo, my dad is currently in the middle of a big "get fit" sort of thing, those that have seen him will note that he doesn't look particularly unfit, well, he's been doing a lot of exercise and said he'd cycle with me. It started off well, I'm lightweight and built for cycling. However, it was cold and my airways decided that a healthy layer of mucus would insulate them very well against the cold. My Dad wasn't having a problem and for the most part, neither was I, keeping up was however proving harder and harder. My dad suggested going up a mountain on the way there, yeah sure, why not? It was 0955 and Church didn't start until 1030, I had loads of time! I got to the top not feeling amazingly well, I'd had to wash my mouth out on the way up because of all the stuff from my nose and throat. It was pretty icky but there's a lot of vegetation on the mountain, some of it now has my snot over it (I'm polluting!). We cycled down the mountain and my Dad challenges me to go as fast as possible, I don't have a speedo but I think I broke the 30mph speed limit, it was pretty good. During this speeding exercise, my legs moved pretty fast, infact, they were about as fast as I could go. I got to the bottom and really started to feel bad, I managed to turn onto a main road and BLEUGH! Yep, I threw up, a big load came out and I thought that might be it, but no, more came out, and some more. I somehow managed to remain in a straight line but also managed to hit my left leg and shoe. I pulled to a stop on the pavement and decorated it with what was left in my stomach. Now see the difference between a city and a town. A man came along and stopped (he was driving) and wanted to know if we were okay, the Firebrigade (we were just outside) all came along and gave me a bottle of water to wash off the worst of it. In the end I got a lift home from my Mum as I was feeling a little rough at that point. Once I got home, had a shower and had lunch I was fine again. Of course, that story becomes a lot funnier when you condense it a little so it looks like this. Teifion didn't go to church because he managed to throw up over himself while cycling, typical student...