The Potato Theory

So, what is a potato theory? Well quite simply it's a theory involving potatoes. It's all about love and how it's shown and what it means. Lets suppose there was this really nice young lady I liked, I'd met her and liked her quite a lot and wanted to ask her out (or maybe she wants to ask me out). I could do this with a rose, ladies apparently like them. What does a Rose signify? What does a Rose stand for? Why use a Rose over say, a lump of grass? Roses are pretty Roses smell nice Roses are symbolic So, we can say that by giving a rose to a lady you are saying that she looks nice, smells nice and further reinforcing your intentions by giving an item that is symbolic of what you are trying to say. However, how long do Roses last for? Well, if you can manage to make it last 2 weeks it'll start looking a bit down by the 1st so we'll say 1 week. Now, lets look at a Potato. Potatoes do not look pretty Potatoes do not smell nice Potatoes are not symbolic Potatoes do however have inner goodness Potatoes last longer than roses Potatoes are very versatile, there's a load of things you can do with them So, by giving a potato to someone you say that they have inner beauty (it's called a personality), that this inner beauty will last and that they're a really cool person that can do whatever they put their mind to. Now, I'm sure you've at some point been told by a lady to stop being so superficial, to stop judging by looks and to start judging by personality. They clearly want to be given a potato, or do they? While the theory is spot on, it doesn't account for one very very important fact. Ladies don't make sense, they tell you not to judge on physical appearance yet they want to be told they look nice Armed with this crucial bit of information we can see why despite making complete sense, the potato gift idea is doomed to failure. But now that leaves us with a huge problem, if we want to be true Gentlemen then we can't just give out a rose, it gives out completely the wrong message (i.e. that are obsessed with physical appearance). Thus I propose a new theory. The Strawberry Theory! Granted a Strawberry isn't symbolic and doesn't last for as long as a potato but it does taste awesome, looks quite nice, has lots of inner goodness and can be quite resilient (you try getting those seeds out of your mouth). Alternately, Rosmary suggested simply using a whole rose bush. I still however think that's rather superficial thinking. Remember, the blog will be moving soon.